Posts Tagged ‘process’

I have this new dorm mate who is uncivilized. She would play loud music in the early morning, 5am. She has a voice that is very loud, bragging about what she has. She is proud of herself. She would shout and disrespect her mother over the phone. When she bring her friends over she would brag about everything she has again. The worst part is, what she is bragging isn’t even something to be bragged about. Although this must be new to her because she didn’t grew up in the city but bragging about it and belittling others is really irritating. Also, she doesn’t have good manners. She is also proud of the number of boys she is flirting and fucking with. She intentionally shouts everything she say so all the people in our unit could hear it. She wants to be treated as someone highly. The problem is, all of us in the unit are more blessed with a higher type of lifestyle. We are all family-oriented and grew up with civilized type of persons.

As a christian, I find it hard to live with this type of person. Though we have separate rooms, I am always disturbed by her. She is proud of her sinful ways. As much as I hate to plant anger and hatred in my heart, I have no choice. There are times that I would take matter into my own hands, I would let anger drive me and pierce her with my words. While writing the first paragraph the anger was already leaking out.

I kept praying to God. God reminded that I should love my enemies and pray for them. I was like ‘seriously?’. Loving an unlovable and irritating person is almost impossible. He then reminded me that I am blessed with a complete, financially blessed and loving family, she wasn’t.

Days passed it was still useless. I still let anger drive me. How can you love someone in whom you have the urge to punch that person in the face?

One night, I allotted a time to spend with God. The anger was more intense. I hated it because I know I can sin against Him. The words in the Bible didn’t help. I couldn’t do all of it: if someone does evil to you do not exchange it with evil, love and pray for those who persecute you, give love who gives you evil. But this night was different, this time I offered my ears to God:

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. -Romans 12:16

I was about to roll my eyes on the first sentence but the following sentence struck me. I became proud and boast of what I have, not on the Lord.

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written “It is mine to avenge; I will repay” says the Lord. -Romans 12:19

My heart was cheering and shouting for joy when i read this. But then, I remembered I prayed a long time ago for God to punish them, why didn’t He? I had second thoughts, if God is avenging me, then why can’t I see it. But God is consistent, my faith should not rely on what I see.

With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without a cause.

In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer.

They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship. -Psalm 109:3-5

I was shocked and my eyes were wide open, literally, when i read this. It is precisely what is happening. I continued reading.

Appoint an evil man to oppose him; let an accuser stand at his right hand.

When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him. 

May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership.

May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes.

May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor.

May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children.

May his descendants be cut off, their names blotted out from the next generation.

May the iniquity of  his fathers be remembered before the Lord; may the sin of his mother never be blotted out.

May their sins always remain before the Lord, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth.

For he never thought of doing a kindness, but hounded to death the poor and the needy and the brokenhearted.

He loved to pronounce a curse-may it come on him; he found no pleasure in blessing-may it be far from him.

-Psalm 109:6-17

I was saying ‘yes! yes!’ at the beginning but at the middle part of my reading, mercy has captured my heart. God this is so cruel. But God was serious when He said, He will avenge you. God can do more than this. We may see suffering or punishment as temporary but for God, He can make it permanent not only while you’re living but for eternity.

Our suffering under the arms of the enemy are temporary but the punishment of God to them is permanent. God’s wrath is something to be feared of that our imagination wouldn’t dare to envision. Your enemy is bound for eternal death and is suffering at the same time with the world. Pray for them that God may have a little mercy on them.

Instead of asking God to avenge you, ask Him to save them. Ask God to let them turn to Him.